I must move about more in my sleep than I imagine judging by the rapidity with which my pyjamas keep wearing out – mostly the waist band. So, as I was forced to abandon yet another pair last week I went online to see what might be on offer that was neither revealing lingerie which won’t keep a gnat warm on a frosty night and tacky pink – pink is simply so not my colour!
Before long I was surfing away down a list of possibles. There were a few false starts – a great red pair but not available in my size. Still after about 10 minutes or so I had located a reasonable combo of checked trousers with long sleeved dark grey top and nothing worse than ‘I love sleep’ as the legend across the front. I ordered them online in the afternoon and was impressed to find they had been delivered the very next morning.
Packaging with a punch
Now for the fun bit of unpacking them – The outer delivery wrapping was a large plastic pocket sealed with super glue but my brute strength helped me rip it open to reveal 2 cellophane packages within. I pulled the first one out to examine the stuck on printed label and check they had in theory sent the right size – and there in black and white (literally large thick black letters on the white sticky label) was written Size 16 Extra Large – what! Size 16 (which is my size) is ‘Extra Large’ are you kidding me?!
I may be carrying a bit of an extra tyre around the midriff these days but “Ten Ton Tess I am decidedly not and actually Size 16 is the ‘Average’ for an adult woman. OK my friends might quibble about how ‘adult’ they would describe me but full grown certainly. Who are these idiots? Should the brand name “Miss Fiori” have given me the clue that any customer over a Size 8 would be considered gross? Assuming just for a mad moment I really am the average size, I am left wondering where all those larger ladies buy their pyjamas – or maybe they just don’t bother.
Sweet Little Sixteen
So, have I now made a New Year’s Resolution to slim down to a Size 14 (presumably ‘Large’) or even a Size 12 (Medium)? Well no, actually. Even in my super fit days (ah yes, there was a time when I could describe myself as athletic and no-one would laugh) I was a well honed and toned Size 16 – I’ll hang on to my curves, thanks, and wait for the day when the fashion industry join the real world. So I am proud to be Size 16 and that’s how I intend to stay – maybe lose the spare tyre though?